Orange Is The New Black: Episode 5


As usual there’s a lot going on in this episode. Flashback territory belongs mainly to Diaz, giving us some insight into her relationship with her mother, who’s serving time in the same prison – they don’t seem to be big pals. Diaz’s flashbacks reveal that her mum isn’t going to win any awards for Mum of the Year she leaves Diaz in charge of looking after the kids while she swans off with some suspect-looking guy who seems to be running some sort of drug outlet from their house. She tells Diaz to order a pizza – ‘I’m eating oysters bitches.’ Charming.

Further flashbacks show them visiting their mum in prison (Diaz still on the outside at this point) and she asks Diaz if she’s been sleeping with her boyfriend. Diaz says no and I have no reason to believe this isn’t true – Diaz is the good character in all this right? But, shock horror, Diaz IS in fact sleeping with the dodgy, unattractive drug dealing guy (this guy is awful, what’s the appeal here?)

So we can only assume that situation accounts for some of the tension between Mum Diaz and daughter Diaz. Though the flashbacks still don’t reveal the full details of why they’re both in prison – we can assume Mum Diaz’s conviction was probably related to the whole kitchen drug operation, but what did Diaz do?

Back in the present day, Mum Diaz has clocked onto the blossoming romance between Bennett and Diaz. She advises her to choose who she sleeps with strategically (AKA who can bring her stuff), rather than for love – classic motherly words of advice, great job Mum Diaz.

Obviously, Diaz takes no notice of this advice, and she and Bennett continue to leave each other notes. After Bennett makes a show of shouting at Diaz in front of everyone, he writes ‘I’m sorry I’m under a lot of pressure to act like a dick.’ It’s all hunky dory until Mum Diaz (you sneaky Mooom!) pretends to write a note from Diaz to Bennett, telling him to meet her in the utility closet. All we see is Mum Diaz appearing naked in the closet and the light going out – we don’t know if Bennett succumbed to Mum Diaz’s seduction. He better not have, or I’ll be cross.

Last week, the big saga was the missing screwdriver – this week it’s all about a chicken which may or may not exist. Chapman casually mentions that she saw a chicken while sitting outside earlier that morning. Everyone goes nuts, especially Red. It’s clear this chicken has mythical status, and Red sets a few of the girls a challenge to find it. News spreads round the prison that there’s a chicken and before long it’s been decided the chicken is stuffed with heroin, money or possibly sweets.

Red is less than impressed about the widespread knowledge of the possibly non-existent chicken: ‘black girls know about chicken, of course they’ll chase it.’ Chapman is confused, ‘why? Because all black people like chicken?’ Cue casual racism from Red: ‘Don’t be racist – it’s because they’re all on heroin.’

Chicken-gate continues until an announcement that there is no chicken, there never was. Everyone thinks Chapman made it up and they’re all angry that she didn’t get punished. Chapman can’t accept that this chicken isn’t real. Later, she’s on the phone waiting to be put through to a VERY important conference call to Barney’s. Just as she gets connected, she sees the chicken outside and runs after it. By the time she catches up, the chicken is there but it’s on the other side of the fence. It’s unclear whether she’s losing her mind a little bit, but one thing is certain, Polly is going to be very angry about the abandoned Barney’s chat.

As well as chickens, a prison romance, and mother/daughter feuds, there’s also a crazy religious girl, Pennsatucky, who’s pretty peeved because she can’t decorate the chapel. She tries to hang up a cross from the ceiling and causes the whole thing to collapse. She also seems to be a raging bigot, going above and beyond the casual racism of the other inmates as she refers to black people as ‘an abomination.’ All in all she seems pretty nuts.

orangenewblack-yoga AA

So with the chapel out of order, the inmates can’t hold their AA meeting in there, which means yoga and AA must co-habit in the same room. Yoga Jones is not happy about this, and Chapman is fuming – Alex’s presence is really raining on her yoga parade (‘Oh man, I did it – I fucked up your Zen.’) Chapman eventually storms out with her yoga mat in tow, as Alex describes how she began using heroin when her girlfriend abandoned her.

It seems like this fued between Alex and Chapman has got to reach breaking point soon – which, the way I see it, could go one of two ways:
1. They kill each other.
2. They forgive each other and rekindle their relationship – which would be pretty awkward for Larry.

Only time will tell.


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