It’s now just under a month until OITNB returns on 6 June, when those bloody great people at Netflix will upload the whole of season two for our consumption. So you better clear your schedules for that weekend, or at least that day if you’re really committed.
Here’s five reasons to get even more excited about the return of the Litchfield gang.
Contains spoilers from season 1
The season ended with Piper basically beating Pensatucky to death (although she may not actually be dead). Either way, what the HECK is going to happen re: that last scene? Surely Piper can’t spend the rest of the entire show in SHU? Though, be warned, the trailer for season 2 shows that she’s kind of changed from the happy, soap-making gal she was before she went inside, as she announces: “I’m a lone wolf and a vicious one”.
There’s a new character and with her comes a whole new feud with everyone’s favourite russian red-head AKA, Red. The trailer for season 2 shows the arrival of Yvonee “Vee” Parker – an old “friend” of Red’s. I get the vibe that Red is a bit peeved about this as she doesn’t seem overly enthused in the trailer: “A woman I knew a long time ago came back in yesterday.”
The imminent arrival of Daya and Bennett’s baby. Daya’s plan is that Bennett’s fellow officer, Mendez (AKA Pornstache) will be assumed to be the father of her child after she set him up last season. But that all seems a bit straightforward – are they going to be able to pull it off and keep up their secret relationship? Realistically, probs not.
More backstories, and lots of em. There’s still loads of characters that we don’t know that much about. Morello is one of them and if the trailer’s anything to go off, we’ll be finding out a whole lot more about her life pre-prison. Either that, or she got out of jail and the first thing she did was buy a denim dress. Both are plausible options.
After a brief stint in the outside world, Taystee is back. Need I say more?
We’ve heard a lot about SHU, but it was starting to take on a kind of mythical existence, having not been shown in any of the previous eight episodes. I imagine this is deliberate, in order to instil ‘the fear’ of SHU into the audience, just as it is instilled in the inmates. Well we finally experience the SHU in this episode, and it’s safe to say that it lives up to the hype. SHU is awful.
A bad case of the flu is doing the rounds at the Litch. Piper, ever the craftsman, has whipped up some face masks made from sanitary towels – who knew they had so many other uses? Mrs Claudette isn’t largely impressed by the prospect of wearing a sanitary towel on her face. “I look like Michael Jackson”, she says. Piper proceeds to simultaneously start moon dancing and correcting her: “no, you’ve got the wrong skin tone. I look like Michael Jackson.” Either way, it seems they are finally getting along and Mrs Claudette has gotten over the whole urine on the floor/rogue screwdriver/Piper generally annoying her situation. Continue reading →
Watson arrives back from the dreaded SHU (Segregated Housing Unit) after she was sent there in relation to the screwdriver incident. She and Chapman have to fix an electrical problem in the ceiling which means crawling around in a very small space. Chapman takes this time to be overly nice to Watson, offering to make her earplugs out of pillow cases and all sorts. Watson is onto Chapman – no one is that nice for no reason. She realises that Chapman was the cause of screwdriver-gate and she’s not happy, but says she’s not a snitch.
In the last few episodes we’ve had a missing screwdriver, a potentially non-existent chicken on the loose, and now there’s apparently a mobile phone floating around in the prison. Figueroa tells Caputo to sort it out – she’s been hearing things about an inmate at the Litch appearing on prisonpoon.com (exactly what it sounds like). She tell Caputo that if he can get to the bottom of it, there might be a pay rise in it for him – ‘it is so depressing working with a man who works below 40K.’ Continue reading →
As usual there’s a lot going on in this episode. Flashback territory belongs mainly to Diaz, giving us some insight into her relationship with her mother, who’s serving time in the same prison – they don’t seem to be big pals. Diaz’s flashbacks reveal that her mum isn’t going to win any awards for Mum of the Year– she leaves Diaz in charge of looking after the kids while she swans off with some suspect-looking guy who seems to be running some sort of drug outlet from their house. She tells Diaz to order a pizza – ‘I’m eating oysters bitches.’ Charming. Continue reading →
Opening where we left off in the last episode (Crazy Eyes whazzing all over the floor of Chapman’s new cell), Chapman is now dealing with aftermath and trying desperately to clean up this mess with maxi pads. Claudette is not impressed with Chapman’s cleaning skills – this maxi pad technique is all well and good but how is she going to disinfect the floor? ‘I don’t know, I’ve never cleaned up another person’s pee before!’ Prompting yet another dig at Chapman’s middle class status, Claudette responds, ‘what a privileged life you’ve lead.’ Continue reading →